So I survived 2018

Hello and sorry for the title …! :p

So yep another year ended and I would like to do a small feedback of it.

First this year was a real challenge for me because I had this lung surgery in May and to be honest it was some serious stuff. For the ones who didn’t know about it; it all started with a blood infection and it started to spread onto my lungs and some organs around like my stomach and others. It had to be removed because my lungs started to stop working randomly and if I just left it be I wouldn’t probably be alive to talk about this today. The surgery itself was about ‘cutting’ and removing the infected parts because we couldn’t do anything else and I now fully recovered from this. I really would like to thanks all of the friends who supported me during this heavy part of this year and thanks to all of your support and the amazing work of the surgeon I can finally breathe without fear and I can also sleep peacefully without worrying being able to wake up or not during the next day!

I also had to deal with many issues regarding my new house since it was a new building. it took me some nights where I just couldn’t sleep but it’s finally over and I’m now happily living in it! I’m just slowly getting used to such a big place for myself but with my tiny Erry around it’s really nice 😀

Now the other topics 🙂

It was a really productive year if not the most productive regarding Art. I beat my previous record with 2018 with 121 pictures and some stories too! I was really happy to draw and will be sure to do more during 2019! 😉

Regarding stories now: I started to work on a real book project and I’m REALLY hyped about this one. It will be available worldwide and in English as well! (because if I wrote this one in French, not much people would be able to understand 🙂 )

IRL projects: I was really happy to be able to go to the SizeCon this year again, it was sooo AMAZING and I’ll never stop to say this too! Because of my new house, my budget for this year is really limited and I don’t think I’ll be able to travel int he USA for a fifth time but… I don’t have any regrets because this event was just worth to go to even if it was at the other side of the world and I know that it will be still amazing for the people that want to go there 😉

On another topic: I’ve been working a lot on my game as some of you know but because of a big lack on motivation to work on it and many things that I had to deal with, I decided to put my game project on hold for some time. I didn’t decide to ‘give up’ on it but I need time to do some stuff on it and I just don’t have it now. Sorry again for all the people waiting for this project.

Another incoming big project: We’re currently working with big friends on a REALLY BIG project these days and we hope to release it as soon as we can but we’re really hyped about it !! I can’t say much about it right now but it will really be something ! 😉

So yep… 2018. I met many amazing people and some close friends too now… so I would like to thank all of the following. I’m sorry if your name isn’t listed there but you know where you are that I care for you too 😉

Aborigen, Taedis and Miss Kaneda : Thanks to the 3 of you for giving me the motivation to work on my own book project. I’ve not been able to take this decision before because it’s such a ‘giant step’ to take and this idea is just crazy but because you gave me motivation, I took this step and I now can’t wait to be able to show you this ‘baby’! 😉

Anoka: You really gave me motivation for my book too and I would like to thank you for this too! 😉

Ben: Thanks for your amazing pictures, your tiny Nova is just adorable and I never expected you to draw Erry that many times too so thanks a lot to you! 😉

Elle: Someone I ‘met’ not so long ago but that I know that I can trust ! I’m really happy that you trusted me to take care of your website and I’ll be happy to provide you again all the help that you need for it! 😉

Eusuna: We finally managed to meet IRL !! I would like to thank you for visiting me in my own country and for all the time we spend to talk, you’re a really great friend! 😉

Jenny: We talked a lot about our common passions and I would like to add you on this special list because I’ve been following your artworks for a long time and I never expected that someday we would talk like we do today, thanks a lot for your friendship! 😉

Jitensha: As usual I don’t have enough words to thank you for all of what you did for the SizeCon events and what you did for my own life too… thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Julie: My new close friend! 🙂 Thanks for understanding those needs I had in my life and to give me advice and help when I had questions 🙂

Labba: My new ‘brother’! It was just amazing to meet you this year if you don’t count this note on DA and I would like to thank you for all the pictures you did and the support you gave me when I needed so thanks a lot to you! ;D

Mabo: It was really great to see you at the SizeCon again! I wish I could travel there again to meet you again my friend! I hope 2019 will be another amazing year for you too! 🙂

Nyx: We don’t talk often I know but each time it’s really worth and thank you for your advice and letting me draw some small thing for you, you’re really someone important for our community my friend! 😉

Shyny: You told me someday that you weren’t someone special, well let me prove you that it’s not true. You’re a really good friend and even if you consider yourself not really important for the community, I can tell you that even the smallest thing you did to help the community is important. Thanks for your work in the ‘shadows’ and I’ll be sure to thank you again and again ! 🙂

Tina: Where can I start…? You were there when I was at the bottom of my despair… you helped me to stand again and gave me the energy I needed to ‘fuel’ many big projects and I’m really happy that you are a part of them too. Thanks for your help, Thanks for your sympathy and thanks for being who you are.

And now a last serious topic.

This year I took another step ‘closer’ to some close friends and I even decided to ‘break’ the fourth wall with some of you. It was something really hard for me because I had many things spinning in my mind like “what if they reject me now”, “what will they think of me if I reveal my real identity” or “will I be worth their friendship if I decide to show the ‘real self’ of me…?”

It was the right choice for me. My friends accepted me like I was, not as Kreeyz anymore but as the real “me”. I was really surprised when some of you actually talked with me using my real name and… I can’t lie that I shed some tears when it happened because you actually ‘reached’ my feelings and I can’t thank you enough for all of this.

So I decided to give myself another challenge for 2019 and I’ll do my best to ‘work’ on it…

I decided to ‘open’ myself more about ‘Size’ to the ones surrounding me.

In my country, it’s not something we could talk freely about because we have something that I call the ‘old ideas from the past’ but honestly, I don’t care. I decided some weeks ago to do a small ‘Labba Wall’ on my wall by displaying many pictures he did of Erry and the cover he also did for Sphere.

“So it’s just ‘pictures’ right…?” you might think? I agree it’s not someone more than 30 years old would probably display in his house and it’s nothing really serious too but… it’s not the only decision I took.

Actually, I have a lot of friends that visit me from time to time and each time I have to ‘hide’ some stuff if you have discovered my ‘Size Collection‘.

I don’t want to hide all of this anymore.

I want to live freely my macrophilia and if someone tells me that I’m a deviant or anything like this… sorry but I won’t care about this.

I decided to break the wall with some friends to say how proud I am about this part of me and I will now ‘show’ more and more of this slowly. For now, it’s just the pictures my friend did for me and also all of those amazing books I got from my author friends but soon… I will try to ‘break’ all of those obstacles in front of me because no one should have to tell me how I should live and I want to assume this choice to the end.

When I was young, many times I had to ‘hide’ my drawings and my ‘interests’ many times, I don’t want to do this anymore. I am who I am and the choices I made for my life only depend on me. If someone wants to know more about macrophilia, I’ll be happy to talk with them because it’s not something that would be seen as something bad… It’s a part of my life and I now ACCEPT it fully!

Thanks a  lot for reading this and I’ll be happy to share more during 2019, see you next time !


One thought on “So I survived 2018

  1. Elle Largesse

    Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us, Kreeyz, and congratulations on taking these big steps! I also went through some extremely difficult medical issues this year and wish I could give you a big hug of solidarity. It’s a relief to know you’re doing so much better. And it’s inspiring to see how you want to live more openly with your friends. I hope it proves to be as empowering and liberating for you as it has been for me. Best wishes for 2019!

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